If you would you like to be featured in an upcoming column, please fill out the online form. 

Name: Stephanie is the mom of three children.

Do you work outside the home? If so, what do you do?

My most important job is that of a stay-at-home parent. I am the parent representative and chairperson for special needs of my school district. My husband and I lead a special needs family support group through our church as well. I also am an independent ambassador with Plexus Worldwide.

What do you do to relax?

I don't know what that means. I have never been good at that! I like doing impossible jigsaw puzzles. I also enjoy writing and my book about my son was just published worldwide, "Looking back and Laughing: Our Journey through Autism" 

What else would you like to tell us about yourself?

I have always loved helping people and feel like I have finally found my purpose through my son’s autism. It opened up our eyes and hearts to families that we never would have even known before. I live my life with purpose and try to help whomever I can every single day.

What benefits has Connecting for Kids brought to you and your family?

My son has loved the special programs offered, especially Music Therapy & More^SM. Sarah Rintamaki has always been there for me with encouraging and helpful advice. I enjoy getting to see new faces and sharing my knowledge, resources, and support to anyone that may need it!

Which have been your favorite Connecting for Kids resources?

I enjoy the educational classes and training, I will never stop learning and always pass on the information and suggest other parents educate themselves as well.

The bad habit I picked up...

Because my son is considered non-verbal, we needed to learn how to prompt him for almost everything. It was hard to not say things for him, but to prompt him to talk. It took so long to learn how to prompt but we finally did. Our struggle now is learning how NOT to prompt as I feel it holds him back sometimes from communicating independently. I feel like I prompt everyone when I talk now.

If I could go back in time and talk to myself the day we got the diagnosis I would say...

This is not the end, just a brand new bright beginning. You will be challenged, tested, exhausted, confused, stressed, lonely, and overwhelmed at times. But, it will all be worth it. You will learn new things, find a new way to love, a new way to parent and your heart will grow ten times what you thought was possible. Don't give up. Learn as much as you can. Do whatever it takes. Remember that you are your child's voice and their biggest support. Love hard, laugh often, and look ahead to an amazing future full of endless possibilities. Have faith, stand strong, and give him what every child needs, love.

My greatest lesson learned was…

To throw out the window what I thought being a parent looked like. With three children all needing different things from me, what came natural and easy wasn't necessarily what is best for them. Birthday parties look different for my son. Family vacations aren't what I see on the TV. Playdates, having date nights, being spontaneous, all these things are unrealistic. I learned to expect the unexpected, and go with the flow. Life is what you make it, not always what you hope for. Make yours special in what feels right and don't look at other people's lives and feel like yours isn't just as amazing and wonderful. Different, not less.

We'd love to know if you have any go-to resources such as blogs, websites, or books that we can share with other parents.

"Looking back and Laughing: Our Journey through Autism" is a book I wrote which looks at life through the eyes of a parent with a child on the autism spectrum. It is available on Amazon. You can find me on Facebook at "Autism Mom on a Mission" 

Is there anything else about your journey that you would like to share with other parents?

I have extensive research and knowledge of the connection between the gut and the brain and digestive health concerning our autistic and ADHD kiddos. My children are all on medications and plant-based supplements that have truly changed our lives forever. I am speaking with hospitals locally right now and plan on offering workshops about gut health and special needs. Anyone can contact me at any time and I would be happy to add them to my group of families all working to achieve similar results, or share my research and results.

 

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Q: My daughter is having problems getting along with the girls in her class.  I'm afraid that she is behind in her social skills.  What are some ways we can help her gain the necessary social skills to better deal with peer situations as they arise?

A: Dr. Cara Marker Daily, Pediatric Psychologist, Daily Behavioral Health

In today’s world, many children have difficulty “fitting in” with others.  If you feel she is behind in her social skills, it may be beneficial to have her evaluated by someone, such as a psychologist or speech/language pathologist, who can assess her social communication skills.  Some red flags may include difficulty with:
•    sharing interests with others
•    making and keeping friends
•    understanding feelings
•    initiating and maintaining conversations
•    understanding facial expressions and gestures

Regardless, there are some social skills that all children need to learn, which are important to function in daily life.  These skills include:
•    listening to others
•    following steps in directions
•    following rules
•    ignoring distractions
•    asking for help
•    taking turning in talking
•    getting along with others
•    staying calm when upset
•    accepting responsibility for your behavior
•    doing nice things for others

Teaching social skills can be done through various ways.  The best place to teach social skills is at home just by modeling.  Try showing your child that you take the time to listen and are nice to others, that you stay calm when you are upset, that you take responsibility for mistakes, and that you ask for help when you need it.  I often find myself telling parents that the most important thing is for us to teach our kids to love others, which starts at home.  Social skills, not academics, are what will help individuals succeed in today’s world. 

When teaching social skills, it is also helpful to normalize to your child that interacting with others can be difficult and may even cause anxiety.  Let them know that most people get nervous or have difficulty with something in their life.  Afterward, give your child examples of social situations that may be difficult and then role-play those situations with her.  Next, have her practice those skills in her natural environment with siblings, peers, and in her classroom.

Other helpful techniques include the use of Social Stories ™, which can be found on the web at carolgraysocialstories.com. Also, using age-appropriate bibliotherapy books (e.g., how to make friends) are helpful, which you can find at the library.  If these types of approaches are not working, then find a local social skills group, where your child can learn social skills with the help of a professional.

If you would like to be featured in an upcoming column, please fill out the online form.

Name: Chris has 2 children.

Do you work outside the home? If so, what do you do?
I work for an auditing firm.

What do you do to relax?
Play drums, watch Netflix, hang out with my wife!

What benefits has Connecting for Kids brought to you and your family?
Connecting for Kids has brought a lot of benefits including social networking opportunities on Facebook, the ability to have people who have already navigated this difficult path to mentor and help you, feedback on beneficial services and just companionship.

Which have been your favorite Connecting for Kids resources?
The Facebook Chat Group and the CFK Dad get together.

What I worry about most...
How will my son function in his 20s when my wife and I are older.

How parenting a child who struggles has changed my ideas on parenting...
There is no one size fits all. It has changed my ideas on actual life itself. I look at everything from a different perspective. It puts the trivial things "normal" families worry about in perspective and helps you to really focus on the small, wonderful accomplishments that matter most. Sometimes not being caught up in the "rat race" of having the smartest or best athlete for a child, you can just enjoy and love them for all that they will be and everything that they are.

The hardest thing for me to learn was...
What makes sense to me doesn't necessarily make sense to my son. His view of the world, I would imagine, is much different.  He is almost four and has essentially no expressive language, so for me it is difficult to view the world as he does.

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Q: What type of activities can I do at home with my child during the winter months to keep him or her active?

A: Children have the desire to move and explore their world regardless if it is 20 degrees or 80 degrees outside.   Winter can be a difficult time for parents and children as the cold weather limits the outdoor activities we can engage in. 

Listed below are ideas for 13 activities during our hibernation period in Ohio!

1. Take the pillows off the couch and build a mountain.  Change the shape during play to challenge gross motor skills and motor planning.

2. Pull or swing your child around the house while seated on a blanket or sheet. You can place other sensory items in the blanket (balloons, pillows, light up balls, etc.).

3. Work together with your child to transport items across the room with various body parts (head to head, elbow to elbow, back to back).

4. Place painters tape vertically in a hallway at varying heights. Encourage your child to walk from one side to the other without touching the tape.

5. Play tennis, soccer, baseball or volleyball with balloons.

6. Skate across a carpeted floor with paper plates or shoe boxes under your feet.  Play ice hockey with balloons.

7. Make gross motor movement cards and play Go Fish with them.  When you make a match, complete the movement listed on card (bear walks, jumping jacks, toe touches, arm circles, crab walks, log rolls, bounce on exercise ball, etc.).

8. Play body bowling by setting up bowling pins (empty water bottles) and roll into them to knock them down.

9. Fill a bathtub with balls, stuffed animals, pillows, bubble wrap, etc. to make a sensory pit.

10. Have a snowball fight with crinkled up newspaper.

11. Catch a ping pong ball in a plastic cup and watch it bounce out.

12. Use a hula hoop in various ways: as a jump rope,  jump in/out, jump through and onto pillows or spin it around your arms, waist or legs.

13. Items you may want to consider purchasing include: indoor trampoline, moon shoes, door basketball hoop, river rocks, teeter totter and scooter.

To contact Jen Knott:
Rec2connect@gmail.com
Rec2connect.com
330-703-9001

Rebecca Shook
Special Needs Resources Librarian
Westlake Porter Public Library

Offering a new perspective “Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism” by Dr. Barry Prizant suggests that instead of a checklist of symptoms or behaviors to correct, those very behaviors are the ways in which persons with autism interact and cope with our chaotic world. Building up these behaviors provides necessary supports that ultimately will help each person have a better quality of life. This book includes inspiring stories and practical advice that will help give parents, professionals and family members a hopeful perspective. See the collection by searching “Connecting for Kids” in our catalog at www.westlakelibrary.org.

Joe Little, President
The Five Horizons Foundation

Most people worry about losing their keys, their phone, or their bag.  Many in the special needs community are more concerned about losing a wandering child.  There are several options on the market for “tracking” devices.  The biggest difference is typically whether the device is truly GPS enabled or just works off of WiFi or Bluetooth.  The variance drives a difference in cost and accuracy.

GPS trackers will typically carry a monthly fee but are also accurate without the dependency on a WiFi or Bluetooth network.  This gives the device the ability to be tracked anywhere out in public.

One application I’m testing out now is called TrackR.  It has an iOS and Android application and works off of WiFi and Bluetooth.  If the tracker gets in range of WiFi or someone else with the active app on their phone, it registers the last known location.  I’ll look forward to sharing more about its functionality in a few months.

If you would like to be featured in an upcoming Faces of CFK column, please fill out the online form.

Name: Laura

Do you work outside the home?
I am a stay at home mom and student.

What do you do to relax?
I spend time with my family (preferably outdoors). We like exploring new places and parks, and going to restaurants.

I also enjoy watching sports and HGTV since having children has completely deleted my attention span for in depth stories and hour long dramas.

What benefits has Connecting for Kids brought to you and your family?
For my family, CFK brought resources and contacts for agencies to help us. CFK held Family Discussion Groups that seemed like they were designed specifically for us with our current issues. The organization provides a safe and very friendly environment to learn, play and socialize.

For me, CFK provides sanity. It is a community of parents just like me who can almost perfectly relate to our struggles. This is invaluable in a world where I suddenly felt like an outcast and bad mother. I have made connections that have talked me down from the proverbial ledge on the worst of days and celebrated with me on the best.

Simply having a mother or two (in this case, CFK has several within easy reach) to talk to about struggles, confusion and frustration is so wonderful. Friends with no knowledge of these issues are nice, but it's not the same as someone who is walking or has walked in your shoes. I no longer feel isolated and insufficient.

The best thing about parenting a child who struggles...
 It has opened my eyes to a world I never knew existed. As a mother, I am so much more sympathetic. I had never heard of sensory disorders or occupational therapy. I sympathize with parents of children who struggle and I tell my story to anyone who feels like he or she is the only parent in this situation. 

The hardest thing for me to learn was...
He is not a bad kid.  He is not a bully. I am a good mother. I had to learn that this is his battle and I am his coach and not a player. I constantly have to remind myself these things.

The worst thing about parenting a child who struggles...          
Isolation. Bad situations are unavoidable, even though we try. When my son acts out, it always seems like he is the only one. It seems that every other child can sit still, play nicely... whatever the case may be. So, he is isolated (I think), and so am I as the parent of "that kid." It really breaks my heart to think he may feel isolated or ostracized.

We'd love to know if you have any go-to resources such as blogs, websites, or books that we can share with other parents. 
216-UH4-KIDS. This is the number for the UH Rainbows Autism Diagnostic Clinic. 

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Paula C. Papp
MA Ed from Baldwin Wallace College in Reading Instruction
Early Intervention Specialist

"No individual is too disabled to benefit from experiences with written language."
Karen A. Erickson

This is one of my favorite quotes, and a belief I have held for almost four decades of teaching.  Over the next few months I will be offering ideas on how you can enrich and support language learning in your home. 
   
I know I should be reading more to my child at home.  How can I make it happen?

Here are eight tips:

1.    Make reading with your child part of your daily routine. 

Family life is busy, but finding time each day to share a book with your child is invaluable.  Try to find a more relaxed time that you will not feel pressured or rushed.  Chances are if you are feeling stressed about reading, your child will pick up on that.

2.    Find a special spot, but be willing to go with those teachable moments. 

Having a designated "spot" will help your child embrace the routine and understand that it is book time!  Also, if your child settles into that "spot," he or she may be telling you that they would like to read with you.  On the other hand, sometimes a moment presents itself, and you need to go with it.  If your child is having a meltdown, it could be a good time to read, "When Sophie Gets Really Really Angry."  What better time to read a book about trucks than when your son is on the floor playing with his favorite dump truck? 

3.    Turn them off--the TV, the computer etc. 

Many children have difficulty with auditory and visual attending.  They may not be able to focus on the book and your voice, while filtering out all the other things to look at and listen to.  Help your child out by quieting the environment as best you can. 

4.    Start short and sweet if need be, and go from there. 

Researchers in early literacy suggest reading with preschoolers and early elementary aged children at least twenty minutes a day.  You need to start where your child is--which may be twenty seconds!  Reading should be something you both enjoy, so gradually increase your expectations as your child settles into the routine.  Singing the "ABC Song" can be used as the signal that book time with daddy is over. 

5.    Spice it up in different ways once your routine is established. 

Have another person join in and take turns reading a page.  Get a flashlight to read by and turn off all the lights, or huddle under a blanket.  How about reading in a whisper voice, or a squeaky mouse voice?

6.    Keep your child's books in the same place so they have access to them. 

Having a few books readily available gives your child the opportunity to experience them on his or her own, or to communicate to you that he or she would like to read with you.  Be mindful about the books that are accessible, and how many.  If you are upset by ripped up pages or fifty books dumped on the floor, then books are not as much fun as we want them to be.

7.    Provide opportunities for your child to make choices. 

Throughout every daily routine it is important to provide your child with choices.  Who does your child want to read with today?  What two books (from this group of three to five) does your child want to read?  Which book does your child want to read first?  Does your child want to hold the book, or who is going to turn the pages etc.?

8.    Trust in that old saying, "Monkey see, monkey do!" 

If your child sees you reading, and enjoying it, they are more likely to want to pick up a book.  Children can learn the different reasons why we read by observing you.  So, enjoy a book or magazine, read over that recipe, follow the directions on how to put that shelving unit together--and hope that monkey of yours is watching!

You are your child's first and best teacher.  I can't say that enough.  The home literacy environment you create is critical to your child's learning.  Keep it fun, be responsive to your child, and if you miss a day--there is always tomorrow! 

Happy reading, Paula

Rebecca Shook
Special Needs Resources Librarian
Westlake Porter Public Library

Understanding that it is important to remember and follow all sorts of rules in social situations, both at school and at home, can be a difficult task for any child. “Why Do I Have To? A book for Children Who Find Themselves Frustrated by Everyday Rules” by Laurie Leventhal-Belfer offers a look at why rules exist and how following them ultimately helps the child succeed. Leventhal-Belfer attempts to answer questions such as why kids play games the wrong way or why you can’t always talk about what you like. She illustrates this through short essays, suggestions and tips. Meant for both parents and children, this book would be a good resource to use when needing to explain the “why” behind seemingly arbitrary rules. See the collection by searching “Connecting for Kids” in our catalog at www.westlakelibrary.org.

Joe Little, President
The Five Horizons Foundation

There was some discussion in the CFK Facebook Group about a program called GemIIni. This is a program that is geared toward teaching speech and reading skills to people with autism, Down syndrome and other special needs. It is a web-based product with a large library of high quality videos you can watch with your child. The videos use a variety of visual and audio techniques to keep the audience engaged. There is also a great deal of repetition, allowing a student the chance to repeat a word or phrase multiple times.

The interface is relatively intuitive and they have good tutorials on how to use the program whether you’re a professional or a parent. At $98 per month it is definitely not an inexpensive proposition.  They do offer scholarships if money is your barrier to using the software.

For one user’s detailed review of the product, click here.