Ellie has two children and lives in Amherst.

What do you do to relax?

Read

What else would you like to tell us about yourself?

My husband and I work full time while raising our family.

What benefits has Connecting for Kids brought to you and your family?

The Facebook page is an amazing resource for doctors, specialists, schools and just random questions. I’ve gone to a few events over the past year including the Resource Fair, Annual Casino Fundraiser and the playground date in Elyria. Also, I have met the most amazing group of moms and it was through Connecting for Kids.

Which have been your favorite Connecting for Kids resources?

The Resource Fair was great- there were many things I didn’t know were available, including the barber and adaptive baseball. I also love the sensory packs you could get from the library that I found out about through Connecting for Kids.

The best way I asked for support was...

By talking to other parents and learning as much as I could about the different services and schools that are available for my child.

How parenting a child who struggles has changed my ideas on parenting...

I had very clear ideas on how I would parent until I had my son! I am still in the process of figuring it all out but I have become more patient, more flexible, more appreciative of the small calm moments and more willing to go outside of my preconceived ideas of what parenting should look like.

The hardest thing for me to learn was...

I am still in the process of learning this but not to worry about typical milestones or compare my child to others his age. To celebrate his successes big and small, exactly where he is. To see him for him and remember his path will be different and that is okay.

Do you have any recommended resources such as blogs, websites, or books that we can share?

I love Kate Swenson from Finding Coopers Voice

Is there anything else about your journey that you would like to share with other parents?

My son is seven years old and we live in Amherst. He has autism and ADHD and it has changed the scope of our family. But, having a village of moms and families who understand has helped me to find services and also to get him into a new school this year and I am so grateful since I love their approach and what they do. I never would have known about Insight Academy if it wasn’t for Connecting for Kids and these moms!

C.J. has 2 children and lives in Solon.

What do you do to relax?

Listen to music, go for a walk, journal.

What else would you like to tell us about yourself?

I'm a short, left-handed, queer, Caucasian, Jewish man, married to a queer woman, with two African American adopted children, all living with ADHD. Being able to advocate for my family is my superpower!

What benefits has Connecting for Kids brought to you and your family?

From the educational programs to the Facebook groups, Connecting for Kids has provided me with tools, resources, and connection to others for my ever-changing family needs.

How parenting a child who struggles has changed my ideas on parenting...

From an early age, I was a caretaker. Taking care of my mom who had depression and my two younger sisters taught me to be resilient, tough, yet loving and caring. I went to college and graduated with a degree in Early Childhood Education. Caring for and teaching young children gave me true joy. Being a positive male role model in a predominantly female industry was at times difficult. Still, I pressed on. The way their brains were like sponges craving for every bit of knowledge was what drove me forward. Flash forward 13 years, I'm married and thinking about children. I knew I wouldn't have biological children but how children fit into our lives was unknown. We started foster parent classes and knew it would be a long hard road ahead. The adoption agency we worked with, was known for providing intensive training specializing in severely abused, neglected, and traumatized children. What we didn't know is that we would change from foster parenting classes to adoption and be matched with brothers ages 2 and 4. While learning to be a family we realized the needs of both children were severe. Our 4-year-old was behind educationally and had big feelings he couldn't verbalize. Our 2-year-old was doing excellent educationally but struggled with sensory, speech, and basic movements. Having two very different but high-needs children as a new parent forced me to throw out everything, I thought I knew about children, development, and basic needs. My ideas of what a typical child should or could do did not apply to either one of my children. As we navigated through countless services, appointments, and care providers, I became an excellent advocate. My children are now 8 and 10 and still have very different needs. We’ve been through hospitalizations, therapists, treatments, and assessments. No matter how much education a person has, there is no book for real-life experiences or lack of resources for your unique needs. Connecting for Kids has been a great resource for our family. The parenting groups, educational programs, Facebook groups, and the very kind and personable staff has helped us navigate some difficult times.

The hardest thing for me to learn was...

Admitting I didn't have to do it alone. Tapping my wife in when things just got too hard or simply searching and asking for help. Help for my immediate needs and my emotional well-being. I don’t have to take on the stress of four people alone. People want to help but they need to be clued in. Pretending I have it all together or not allowing others in not only pushes people away, but it also doesn’t open up the door for them to ask for help. We’re all just bumbling around doing the best we can.

The best thing about parenting a child who struggles is...

Overcoming the hurdles together. Difficult days won't last forever and when I see a smile, get an impromptu hug, or a simple I love you, every bit of anger, sadness, tear was well worth it. Deep down I know that the struggles we share are only surface level. There are so many internal and unknown struggles we haven't and may never get to but showing up, being there, means they will never have to do it alone.

Do you have any recommended resources such as blogs, websites, or books that we can share?

Positive Education Program (PEP), Transracial Journeys, Understood and any book by Dr. Hallowell.

Agnieszka K. has 2 children and lives in Bedford Heights.

What do you do to relax?

Yoga and meditation

What else would you like to tell us about yourself?

I’m a working mom, a huge advocate for my children and a nature lover.

What benefits has Connecting for Kids brought to you and your family?

One of the amazing benefits brought to us was definitely a network of parents, professionals and resources available to my family.

Which have been your favorite Connecting for Kids resources?

I absolutely love virtual support groups, they have been a great source of information and additional knowledge. I have learned a lot about self-care. Speaker Series have been a great source of useful tools, we are still using the behavioral chart I received during a Behavior Chat program. I had a chance to take my son to one of the Play at the Playground events, meet new families and make new friends.

If I could go back in time and talk to myself the day we got the diagnosis I would say...

I would say that no matter what, the love for your child will never change. The motherly love would be the one constant that will always be the same. The love for your child will be a common denominator for everything you will do. I would tell myself to buckle up for a very bumpy and full of unpredictable turns roller coaster ride. I would also tell myself to surround myself with a village of people willing to be there for you, because you will need it. I would also tell myself to take one day at a time, to stay focused and never ever lose hope. Our children deserve a chance and as their parents, we always have to be their voice. I would also tell myself that it is OK to "find your own outlet" which will allow you to decompress. I often see so many parents burned out...neglecting their own needs... It took me a long time to realize that my mental/emotional wellbeing also needs attention and that self-care matters.

What I worry about most…

What will happen when I am gone. What my son's life is going to look like ...is he going to be happy? I have an amazing daughter who loves her brother to pieces. She has been always there for her brother, always loving him unconditionally and giving up herself so he can get more help. But as she gets older I want her to be able to pursue her own dreams, to live her life to the fullest- she deserves nothing less. I worry that when I am gone she will have to face many new challenges and gain many additional responsibilities. I hope and pray that her love for her brother will never change and that she will be able to find balance.

The hardest thing for me to learn was...

Finding balance between work, home, and marriage. Getting a diagnosis has consumed me as a whole. It flipped my life upside down. This definitely put a strain on many relationships in my life. I lost many friends along the way, my marriage took a big hit...my other child was neglected. It took me a long time and a lot of wonderful people I've met to realize that finding balance is not easy, but it is definitely possible. Am I there? Probably not yet but I'm working towards finding what "obtaining balance" would mean for me and my family...one step at a time.

Is there anything else about your journey that you would like to share with other parents?

Never say never. The sky is the limit for what our children can achieve...and just because they see the world differently does not make it any less valuable and beautiful.

Alison has 2 children and lives in Bay Village.

What do you do to relax?

Cook, walk, breathe

What benefits has Connecting for Kids brought to you and your family?

It has helped me meet with other parents and I have used resources from the website.

Which have been your favorite Connecting for Kids resources?

The CFK Service Provider Directory although I love meeting people when possible. 

The area where I have grown the most...

Patience and not taking it personally or feeling like it is a reflection on me as a parent when my daughter acts out.

The bad habit I picked up...

Giving into my daughter to avoid a meltdown. My older son is a typical child and I rarely did that with him.

What I worry about most…

My daughter's future as she will never be able to live independently.

Do you have any recommended resources such as blogs, websites, or books that we can share?

I have started going to a support group which meets one Tuesday night a month at Bay Presbyterian church which I like.

Is there anything else about your journey that you would like to share with other parents?

Just that it is a journey- there is no end or magic cure for my daughter's challenges so patience and acceptance are key for me.

Chris has one child and lives in Macedonia.

What do you do to relax?

Yoga, hiking, reading

What else would you like to tell us about yourself?

I am passionate about promoting brain-based, heart-centered approaches to helping all kids. I think this is the key to repairing our society,

What benefits has Connecting for Kids brought to you and your family?

We’ve enjoyed the opportunity to connect with other families, such as with the Play at the Playground outings, yoga, etc. I can’t describe how nice it is to spend time around people who understand us and can relate to our challenges.

Which have been your favorite Connecting for Kids resources?

Probably the online community. I learn so much from reading through questions I would never have even thought of and the wonderfully informed answers they get.

The area where I have grown the most...

Is in my patience. I was always known to be pretty uptight with a short fuse. But having a kid who is the same was like looking in a mirror and I eventually realized something had to change. I sensed first that we needed to keep our environment more calm, but I didn’t know how. Umpteen books and Facebook groups later, I learned how to see the whys behind our reactions to things and have gotten into the habit of stepping back and saying, “OK, I think I’m feeling anxious about…”. And now I’m teaching my child the same thing.

How parenting a child who struggles has changed my ideas on parenting…

It has been truly transformative. I used to believe in a no-nonsense authoritarian style of child rearing that was sure to shape the blank slate of a youngster into a model citizen. Ha! It was only a few years in when I found myself completely baffled and realizing that children are born uniquely themselves and that I needed to rethink everything. Learning the neurology behind behavior was what did it for me. Understanding the roles of the amygdala and the child’s still-forming frontal lobe brought to light why I was seeing the behaviors I did and what to do so my child’s brain could send himself messages of safety and calm.

The most difficult part of parenting a child who struggles...

Is having to live in a society that still values sameness and very old-world approaches to parenting/teaching. We just don’t fit in with a lot of that and even though our lives are inherently good at this point, it’s hard to live among the “normal” families who stay clumped together and only make the occasional goodwill gesture toward the neurodivergent community. It can be a lonely life, but we’re slowly finding our community.

Do you have any recommended resources such as blogs, websites, or books that we can share?

Here are my absolute favorites…

Books/authors:

Mona Delahooke’s Beyond Behaviors, Stuart Shanker’s Self Reg, anything by Ross Greene, anything by Dan Siegel/Tina Payne Bryson.

Facebook groups/pages:

Greg Santucci Occupational Therapist, Tilt Parenting, Calm the Chaos Parenting by Lemon Lime Adventures, CFK Families (of course!)

Twitter:

Not an Autism Mom, The MEHRIT Centre, Kelly Mahler, Stuart Shanker, Dr. Mona Delahooke

Is there anything else about your journey that you would like to share with other parents?

I always say it’s not so much a journey but a pilgrimage. But through it all, we’re becoming some pretty strong, amazing people who are raising strong, amazing kids!

Annette has 3 children and lives in Olmsted Falls.

What do you do to relax?

MaryJo lives in Fairview Park and has 3 children.

What do you do to relax?

Read

What else would you like to tell us about yourself?

I struggle with depression, anxiety and ADHD.

What benefits has Connecting for Kids brought to you and your family?

CFK has offers support through its Coffee and Chat programs which brings together families who have children with similar diagnosis.

If I could go back in time and talk to myself the day we got the diagnosis I would say...

You will make it. It’s going to be hard, it will seem unfair, but we can do hard things.

The best way I asked for support was...

Registering for Coffee and Chat support groups and reaching out for respite care.

The most difficult part of parenting a child who struggles...

Trying to navigate the world in an effective way for my child. Looking at a scenario or certain atmosphere and asking, “How will my child respond to that?”

Do you have any recommended resources such as blogs, websites, or books that we can share?

I blog about significant events but also find support in Finding Coopers Voice and other similar blogs.

Is there anything else about your journey that you would like to share with other parents?

We have struggled through severe behaviors and a hospitalization. It may feel like you’re in the trenches and like you’re being dragged through mud at times but it’s not always going to be that way, asking for help and accepting it is key to survival through this season of life.

Jill has one child and lives in Elyria.

How are you and your family dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic?

My husband works from home now and we don't go out nearly as much as we used to. We spend a lot of family time watching movies at home.

What do you do to relax?

Watch terrible reality TV shows.

What benefits has Connecting for Kids brought to you and your family?

We have met other families with challenges like ours through CFK.

Which have been your favorite Connecting for Kids resources?

The CFK Complex Needs Facebook group.

If I could go back in time and talk to myself the day we got the diagnosis I would say...

It's all going to be alright. Your child will do her very best because YOU will do your best.

What I worry about most…

When my daughter will no longer be here. Her life expectancy isn't long and the thought of being without her takes my breath away.

The hardest thing for me to learn was...

To have patience. I still struggle with this. I have to be the nurse, the driver, the therapist, the research team, etc. All while waiting on others to do their job, especially the insurance companies!

Do you have any recommended resources such as blogs, websites, or books that we can share?

Check out A very SPECIAL NEEDS Christmas on Facebook. It is filled with amazing ideas.

Is there anything else about your journey that you would like to share with other parents?

We always remind ourselves to "Just keep swimming.”

Meghan has two children and lives in Parma.

How are you and your family dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic?

It’s been hard but it has brought us closer as a family. Staying in more often and playing board games, and watching movies.

What do you do to relax?

Yoga, take time for myself.

What benefits has Connecting for Kids brought to you and your family?

Every year I have found many awesome resources at the Connecting for Kids Meet and Greet. I have met amazing people including a woman whose ministry is hosting free retreats for moms who have kids with disabilities (Shepherd’s Well). Connecting for Kids always provides such helpful resources and they don’t leave anyone out. The organization has information on so many topics.

Which have been your favorite Connecting for Kids resources?

Coffee and Chat programs. It’s been great to give and receive support from other parents that struggle with some of the same things we do. I’ve enjoyed meeting new people that I would have never met if I didn’t have my child.

What I worry about most…

What my daughter will do when we are gone.

The area where I have grown the most...

Patience and learning that it is okay to struggle. Leaving the idea of what I thought was perfect behind,

The best thing about parenting a child who struggles is...

Through my child, we have encountered amazing therapists that have worked with her. It’s also given us the opportunity to teach her sibling that it is okay to be different. For me, it’s helped me to focus on the positives and has taught me how to break out of my shell. It’s been awesome watching her hit each milestone and being proud of how much she has overcome. We have watched her grow as a person, knowing she can overcome anything.

Dina has 3 children and lives in Avon Lake.

How are you and your family dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic?

The pandemic has impacted us significantly and added even more stress in addition to our family moving to a new country. There were months of living separately and this is not over yet as my husband is still abroad. Given this, I have no other choice than managing all by myself and making sure everybody stays healthy. We love sports and this helps a lot. We also have became much more flexible, open to new things, new connections, etc. We love traveling and explored several states during the last couple of years. I am very thankful to people who supported me through this difficult time, and there were so many. Our school does an amazing job supporting the kids and they had a great time in the summer camp for kids with disabilities, Finally, most of the changes of the last couple of years proved to be positive.

What do you do to relax?

Sports

What benefits has Connecting for Kids brought to you and your family?

Connecting for Kids has provided information about resources I can tap into for my kids.

Which have been your favorite Connecting for Kids resources?

Music Therapy & More

My greatest lesson learned is...

To be patient and work in small steps. It may take months and years for goals to be achieved.

What I worry about most…

My son with autism’s lack of self-regulation and self-control. He is behind in certain academic skills too. He gets very frustrated that he cannot achieve the same goals as his peers and this gap becomes more and more visible. I worry that I cannot help him to deal with this frustration.

The hardest thing for me to learn was...

Not to compare his achievements to other kids.

Do you have any recommended resources such as blogs, websites, or books that we can share?

The books Sensory Integration and the Child by A. Jean Ayres and Engaging Autism by Stanley I. Greenspan.