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Home   »   Resources  »  How-to Guides

How to Support Anxiety, Behavior & Social Skills Challenges


Anxiety, behavior and social skills challenges are some of the most common struggles families face during the holiday season. Even typically developing children can become overwhelmed! For children who already face anxiety issues, struggles with behavior, or social skills delays, the challenges keep building.

This guide covers common challenges and things host and family members can do before and during the gathering. You'll also find additional resources at the end, including articles and podcasts you can share with family and friends.

Common Challenges

Some of the most common challenges for families with children who struggle from anxiety issues, behavior or social skills delays are:

  • Social Rules (for example, not responding appropriately when given attention by an unfamiliar family member)
  • Coping with Anxiety (for example, not being able to deal with unplanned, spontaneous events or gatherings)
  • Disappointment (for example, not saying thank you when receiving a gift that the child does not like)
  • Self Control (for example, being so excited that the child cannot calm down independently)

Don't Forget Sensory!

Many behavior issues are sensory issues in disguise. For example the child who screams and runs away from Great Aunt Mary's hug may not be able to handle her perfume.

For more information, see the Winter Holidays: Sensory Challenges page.

How To Help

There are many ways to support kids who are struggling. What works for your family will depend on your needs. Feel free to pick and choose the suggestions that work best for you.

Things to Do Ahead of Time - For Hosts


Safe Spaces 

A "safe space" can be any unused space set up with lower lighting, a favorite video game, or other quiet activities. To prevent anxiety, make sure your child knows that this space is available whenever he or she needs it.

Empower Yourself with Information

When family and friends know what to expect, they can help make the effort to connect with your child. Families may provide information ahead of time, such as:

  • "Kate really struggles with loud noises, so please don't be upset if she complains that the TV is too loud."
  • "Tommy is really into Ninja Turtles this year. His favorite is Raphael and he'd love to talk with you about that."

Reduce/Remove Anxiety Triggers

By thinking ahead and removing triggers, you can make the holidays more comfortable for a child. Some ways that hosts can help include making gift-giving predictable (like this) and giving advanced information for events and social interactions.

Things to Do Ahead of Time - For Families

Scripts and Role Play

Preparing scripts that children can use ahead of time (like these) and then role playing while using the scripts can help reduce anxiety in social exchanges.

Social Stories

These short stories identify a specific situation and teach the appropriate way to behave in that situation. There are social stories about Thanksgiving, for receiving gifts (like this one), and even visiting family and Santa (like this).

Podcast Feature

The Connecting for Kids Social Series includes Wrapping Up Social Skills for the Holidays, a podcast with tips for families with children who struggle with holiday social skills.

Things to Do During the Gathering

Scheduled/Structured Breaks

Plan time away from the chaos so your child can "reset." This could be a visit to the safe space, a walk, or even going to sit in the car for a few minutes. 

Schedules

Visual and written schedules (like this one) can help children to predict what will happen next and reduce anxiety related to unexpected situations. To learn how to make a schedule, check out this how-to guide.

Podcast Feature

The Connecting for Kids Behavior Series includes an Introduction to Visual Schedules.

You can also register for an upcoming Behavior Chat to ask specific questions.

Additional Resources

Featured Content

  • Avoiding the Holiday Meltdown (Connecting for Kids)
  • Managing Meltdowns (CFK Podcast)
  • CFK Anxiety Resource Guide with resources from local experts

Articles

  • 10 Things to Know Before Our Family Visits for the Holidays (The Mighty)
  • 13 Holiday Survival Tips for Your Child (Friendship Circle)
  • Holiday Social Skills Strategies (Sandbox Learning)
  • Helping a Child with Selective Mutism During the Holidays (Child Mind)
  • How to Head off Behavior Problems at Formal Events (Child Mind)
  • How to Take the Stress out of the Holidays (Child Mind)
  • How to Help Your Child with LD Have a Happy Holiday (LDOnline)
  • Reduce Celebration Anxiety and Teach How to Receive a Gift (Kid Companions)
  • Surviving the Holidays with a Child with Anxiety (The Chaos and the Clutter)
  • The Family Gathering: A Survival Guide (Child Mind)
  • Tips for Traveling with Challenging Children (Child Mind)

Back to the Winter Holidays Inclusion Guide.

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