Kevin has three children and lives in Lakewood
What do you do to relax?
Read, play trivia, watch tv
What benefits has Connecting for Kids brought to you and your family?
We have become a part of a community and family of other parents and children who we would have never otherwise gotten to meet. Because of CFK, we never feel that we’re struggling alone with our kiddo, but rather that we’ve got a whole team of people alongside us with whatever we need.
Which have been your favorite Connecting for Kids resources?
Coffee and Chat, Dads’ Nights Out, CFK golf outing, and of course CFK Softball!
The area where I have grown the most...
I’m not all the way there yet, still a work in progress, but I’ve gotten much better not caring or worrying about what other people think. My kiddo can look, sound, and behave differently than what a lot of people are familiar with. He can swear in public, be too loud, he’s got some big scars on his head from surgeries, and he’s now in a wheelchair. It’s a lot of things that other people can be uncomfortable with. But the best thing I can tell myself, and the best way I can be present and helpful to him, is to just not care about all of that stuff. Other people will think whatever they want, and I can’t control their experience. I can only control my own.
I worry most about not knowing what I’m doing as a parent, especially a special needs parent. I worry about my kids or wife needing me in a way that I don’t know how to provide or that I won’t be good enough to be who they need me to be.
The worst thing about parenting a child who struggles is...
The way your patience is tested. He can’t control his impulses or his reaction to most things, so his behavior can be very frustrating and difficult to manage. The hardest thing to remember is “he can’t help it” and tell yourself “it’s not his fault.” When your instinct is to “parent” the behavior and yell or scold, it can be really hard to remember to just slow down and be patient.
Do you have any recommended resources such as blogs, websites, or books that we can share?
Learning about vulnerability from Brene Brown has been game changing!