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Deidera is a mom of four.
Do you work outside the home? If so, what do you do?
I do not work outside the home currently but in January I will be a full-time nursing student.
What do you do to relax?
Relax? What is this relax you speak of? Ha ha!
What else would you like to tell us about yourself?
Life is hard and often lonely. I second guess every parenting decision I make from meds to education to setting boundaries. All I want is for my children to have every opportunity that every other child has.
What benefits has Connecting for Kids brought to you and your family?
An immeasurable amount of emotional and informational support. Everything from doctors to specialists to educational and parenting questions can be found through CFK!
Which have been your favorite Connecting for Kids resources?
Sarah Rintamaki and Karla Fitch are invaluable information resources. The other parents are my life line to compassion, sanity and laughs. We are all in this parenting journey together and that is a huge source of comfort.
How parenting a child who struggles has changed my ideas on parenting...
We're all just doing the best we can every day and we all could use a little more compassion in our day.
The best thing about parenting a child who struggles is...
You learn a new appreciation for what hard means. My life is trivial in comparison to what my children endure on a daily basis just to try and fit in and keep their heads above water. It's taught me to let the little stuff go and focus on what matters most. Having extra needs kids has taught me to let go of convention and embrace the chaos, to live in their world and to accept that our future is not the one I envisioned when we brought them home, but it still has so much possibility. Lastly, it taught me to stop worrying what others think.....they don't walk this road, their opinion is not important.
The worst thing about parenting a child who struggles is...
Always feeling like you could or should be doing more for your children. Always feeling like you are being judged for your children's behavior. Always feeling guilty that your children struggle and wondering secretly if it is your fault. Always missing out on get togethers with friends because your kids need so much of your attention. Worrying that your typical kids will be resentful of all that their siblings needed. Feeling guilty for secretly wanting a little more "me" time. Worrying that you aren't doing enough to nurture your marriage and occasionally giving in to the haunting thoughts of why he sticks around. Perhaps the worst part is realizing those who you love the most just won't ever REALLY get it, either because they don't understand a reality they don't live....or because it's too much for them. Too much chaos and too much effort.
We'd love to know if you have any go-to resources such as blogs, websites, or books that we can share with other parents.
Anything in the CFK arsenal, Scary Mommy blog/site, Special Books by Special Kids (Chris Ullmer is an angel), and Understood.org.
I will put the links below in the newsletter; please let me know if I am referencing the right sources:
Special Books, Understood, and Scary Mommy.
Is there anything else about your journey that you would like to share with other parents?Save
It gets better. Every day doesn't suck. Reaching out and raising my voice for support was paramount. Develop a great working relationship with your children’s school. Cut yourself some slack. And finally, take time for yourself and your partner, who will be there (God willing) long after the struggle is less.