Hillary has two children and lives in Strongsville

What do you do to relax?

My favorite relaxing activities are reading books and journaling.

What else would you like to tell us about yourself?

I volunteer for a hospice program. I do companionship visits for patients several times a month. It’s so rewarding and I’ve met some incredible people along the way.

What benefits has Connecting for Kids brought to you and your family?

I have one typically developing child and one child with a diagnosis. I love that I can bring both of my children to CFK events. We always feel welcomed and accepted.

Which have been your favorite programs?

I love the adapted story times at the library! It warms my heart to see other families like us having fun and enjoying each other’s company.

If I could go back in time and talk to myself the day we got the diagnosis I would say...

When you get a diagnosis, there is so much pressure to sign up for all the tests and therapies right away. If I could go back in time and talk to myself the day we got the diagnosis, I would say give yourself time to process the diagnosis. Give yourself permission to feel sadness, relief, fear, and whatever else is in your heart. Our daughter’s doctor suggested that we make plans six months at a time. This was great advice. Maybe this means you want to make sure your child begins speech therapy or receives a hearing test right away, but genetic testing can wait. Resist the urge to sign up for everything and make all the appointments right away. It will give you time to take stock of what’s working and what’s not, and will keep you and your child from feeling too overwhelmed.

The best thing about parenting a child who struggles is...

The best thing about parenting a child who struggles is that the milestones and victories are so much sweeter. Other families may take for granted the fact that their child will speak, be potty trained, or sleep in a regular bed. Parenting a neurodivergent child means that a lot of timelines for these milestones go out the window. I’ve learned to be so much more relaxed and accepting of my daughter’s needs and abilities. As a result, every time she uses her PECS to ask for something she wants, or waves and smiles at a family member, or learns a new color, I am so much more proud and joyful than I would have been if these things came easily to her. Neurodivergent families walk a hard road sometimes, but it can be a fun and rewarding one too!

The most difficult part of parenting a child who struggles...

Seeing typically developing children my daughter’s age can hurt sometimes. It’s easy to focus on the things that my child can’t do, rather than the things she can. The most helpful thing for me is going to social events and places where I can interact with other parents who have similar struggles. Talking to a therapist and journaling have done wonders to help me process and accept my feelings.

Do you have any recommended resources such as blogs, websites, or books that we can share?

The book, The Out-of-Sync Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz; recognizing and coping with sensory processing disorder.